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If nobody comes, that too is beautiful and good. You are not waiting for somebody to come and knock at the door. If nobody knocks at your door it is perfectly okay - YOU are not missing. First become so authentically happy that if nobody comes it doesn't matter you are full, overflowing. They create much more misery for each other than they could have created in their loneliness.įirst become alone. And remember, when two miserable people meet, it is not an ordinary addition, it is a multiplication. Two beggars will meet, two miserable people will meet. So whenever you move out of loneliness, you will find a man of the same type you will find your own reflection somewhere. One who is on his peak of aloneness can only be attracted towards somebody who is also alone. He can, at the most, sympathize, but cannot love you. It is going to create more misery for you.Īnd remember, when you move from your loneliness you will fall in relationship with somebody who is in the same plight, because no man who is really living his aloneness will be attracted towards you. Even before the birth, the child is dead. Even before it has started, it is already on the rocks. So whenever you move in any relationship out of loneliness, the relationship is already on the rocks. Nobody is here to fulfill anybody else's expectations, everybody is here just to be himself. Nobody is here to be used like a thing, everybody is here to be worshipped like a king. You will use the other, and everybody resents being used because no man is here to become a means for anybody else.Įvery man is an end unto himself. The other will become a means to satisfy you. Now, if you move into a relationship when you are feeling lonely, then you will exploit the other. One feels as if one is one's whole world, one's whole existence. Loneliness is a dependence, aloneness is SHEER independence. Loneliness is beggarly all around it there is begging and nothing else. It has an elegance around it, a grace, a climate of tremendous satisfaction. In loneliness you are off center, in aloneness you are centered and rooted. Loneliness is always worried, missing something, hankering for something, desiring for something aloneness is a deep fulfillment, not going out, tremendously content, happy, celebrating.
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Loneliness is miserable, aloneness is blissful. Loneliness is a state of mind when you are constantly missing the other, aloneness is the state of mind when you are constantly delighted in yourself. In dictionaries, loneliness and aloneness are synonymous - they are synonyms in life they are not. Aloneness is positive, notwithstanding what the dictionaries say. What do I mean when I say that one has to come to terms with one's loneliness, so much so that it becomes aloneness? Only then will you be able to move into love. Only then will you be capable of moving into a deep enriching relationship. Yes, you have to come to terms with your loneliness, so much so that the loneliness is transformed into aloneness. SHOULD ONE FIRST COME TO TERMS WITH ONE'S OWN LONELINESS BEFORE ENTERING INTO RELATIONSHIP?